Chapters 4-10

Greetings, I apologize for being behind and hope to do Chapters 10-12 soon. Here are some observations of underachievers. P.47 Sets the premise facing one's identity is natural in the journey from childhood to adulthood. However, looking at Procrastinators through to Con-Artists what appears to be true to me, unconscious or not, all have p.46 substituted excuses and denials of responsibilities for insight, self-knowledge and effective action in life. For me, the question continues to be, if and how we make a difference for our students who fall into these categories and our parents who are key players, especially since most of us have operated from the belief that these young people "know" what they are doing. How do we help our students recognize and change their unhealthy ways of handling their reality and relationships and work toward long term healthier choices? This is where I see Love and Logic techniques as an advantage in helping us all be more consistent, persistent and patient.

This past year I think I made some headway helping a couple of my hidden perfectionist - endless questioners - to take more responsibility or perhaps I only diverted them to asking others as I encouraged them to share the answers to their own questions they already knew and said trust yourself without me repeating my directions or whatever. A key in helping us all may be to be good active listeners...to hear underlying causes instead of just dealing with symptoms. Again a Love and Logic strategy that may be helpful in some problem instances may be to say to students I am going to have to do something about this and then delay our response which will allow us time to perhaps dialogue privately with students and provide more connected to the problem consequences, strategies for healthy change and/or recognition of responsibilities.

P.89 spoke to my desire to greet students as they arrive and connect as they leave...to show I care about them individually. I believe it makes a positive difference for our students if they feel we genuinely like them no matter the grade they are earning. However, I know this is not new news. The last two categories were of greatest concern to me. Depression results are always a concern and today I feel we have more depressed students than ever before. I for one could always use a refresher on the signs of depression so I am less likely to miss this deep underlying cause or add to it. How about entitlement and Con Artists...is this on the rise? I continue to have concerns for both our parents and young people who seem to be missing the acceptance of their own responsibilities. Strategies...?

Parents have great influence in these various categories. How do we communicate and educate what we are learning with our parents? One at a time, parent coffee, invite and encourage groups of parents to read this book and dialogue as we are or...other ideas? How do we help parents who are modeling some of these styles or help other parents let go so their students can become more independent or...?

Well, all the above being said, I pray thanksgiving for each one of you that I have privilege to work with you. We care, we work at improving our expertise and we make a difference for our students and parents daily. Thanks for who you are and your willingness to help me to grow. Hope your summer is relaxing and filled with just what you need. Blessings, J